Many years ago, I faced the humiliation of having a money problem. It surfaced when I treated a long-time friend to lunch. When the waiter ran my card, it was declined.

“What???” I said. So I gave him another. That card was also declined. This back and forth went on for a while until my friend finally said, “Bob, seriously. It’s not a problem. I’ll take care of it.”

He ended up paying the bill.

I said, “No, no. That’s not right. Let me at least write you a check to cover the amount.” So I wrote him a check, and we went on our way.

A week later… the check bounced… Can you imagine the embarrassment?

But, on a positive note, this moment would mark the beginning of a journey that would shape me into the person I am today. After years of working with psychologists and coaches, I learned that I did not have a problem with spending. My problem was emotional… I couldn’t set boundaries.

When I was young, any money I made went to my parents. They were always short on cash, so my piggybank funded their piggybank. This carried on through adulthood and even grew with other family members.

I hated it. I hated it because it was my money. And I hated myself because I couldn’t say no. Rather than feel shame, I did what any “reasonable” person in my situation would do. I just spent everything.

You can’t take away what isn’t there. Right?

That was my self-sabotage.

Financial problems are often caused by the way we relate to money. I overspent to avoid feeling shame. When I learned how to overcome my emotional barriers, I became whole again, and my financial situation changed for the better.

Your story may be dramatically different than mine. However, all sad stories share the same problem—emotions. The Money Nerve was written to help you navigate those emotions. Once your emotions no longer drive your decisions, your results will improve, and you’ll see your finances do too.

Many years ago, I faced the humiliation of having a money problem. It surfaced when I treated a long-time friend to lunch. When the waiter ran my card, it was declined.

“What???” I said. So I gave him another. That card was also declined. This back and forth went on for a while until my friend finally said, “Bob, seriously. It’s not a problem. I’ll take care of it.”

He ended up paying the bill.

I said, “No, no. That’s not right. Let me at least write you a check to cover the amount.” So I wrote him a check, and we went on our way.

A week later… the check bounced… Can you imagine the embarrassment?

But, on a positive note, this moment would mark the beginning of a journey that would shape me into the person I am today. After years of working with psychologists and coaches, I learned that I did not have a problem with spending. My problem was emotional… I couldn’t set boundaries.

When I was young, any money I made went to my parents. They were always short on cash, so my piggybank funded their piggybank. This carried on through adulthood and even grew with other family members.

I hated it. I hated it because it was my money. And I hated myself because I couldn’t say no. Rather than feel shame, I did what any “reasonable” person in my situation would do. I just spent everything.

You can’t take away what isn’t there. Right?

That was my self-sabotage.

Financial problems are often caused by the way we relate to money. I overspent to avoid feeling shame. When I learned how to overcome my emotional barriers, I became whole again, and my financial situation changed for the better.

Your story may be dramatically different than mine. However, all sad stories share the same problem—emotions. The Money Nerve was written to help you navigate those emotions. Once your emotions no longer drive your decisions, your results will improve, and you’ll see your finances do too.